Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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