You really coming over, don't trick.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
