Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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