apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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