So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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