That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
