oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
