dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
