It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i think i just lost a toe
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
