dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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