i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
