well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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