hotel room ftw
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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