I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
