I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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