DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
