I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
