i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
