Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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