am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
