last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
