Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
