That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
