Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
