I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
