I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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