and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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