Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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