DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
