I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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