i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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