school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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