He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
