your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
