she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
handjob tips. give me some.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
