So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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