If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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