she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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