i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
