im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
