he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
