Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
