People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
