Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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