New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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