I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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