U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
