I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
