I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
