This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
