How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
